October 26, 2009

Once agian, another fight had broke out. Sometimes i just wish i had a completely different life, and a different attitude towards life. I feel as if no one loves me and no one cares for me, even my own parents. I've been through many rough times to get where i am right now and i feel like everything will slowly fall apart again. i constantly have to go through all this.. why? why me? why can't everything work itself out? It's life, it's a hard life, and it's mine. i use to always believe in love and happy endings, but i realize it's all fake. There are no happy endings and i can't ever be optomistic about life because there is no true love. i love that guy, but i don't think love is all. you can't work out a relationship through love, there must be compromises and passion, perhaps, we don't carry those key characteristics. we constantly fight over nothing, but the origin isn't about the start of the fight, it's how we feel deep down inside about each other that we don\t express and when a fight breaks out, we blow everything out and we both end up extremely unhappy. None of us can compromise nor hold in our angry, therefore, our fights are very ugly. Im really tired of fighting. i grew in a household with barely any love and all i search for is love and someone that will care for me. i know he cares for me, but i don't know if he truly loves me, especially when he jsut told me that i make his life miserable. it hurts, it hurts to the point where my feelings are numb. i think this is the end, and i don't know what to do..